Rob Martin, Lieutenant-Colonel (Retired). "CAN PRAXIS means everything to me. Upon initial contact mid-September 2015 Steve talked me through a very dark, life-threatening situation.... read more
DawnMarie Primeau I am the spouse of an Ontario Provincial Police officer. My husband loves his job, wears his uniform with... read moreI am the spouse of an Ontario Provincial Police officer. My husband loves his job, wears his uniform with pride and took to the streets to make a difference. He is passionate about connecting with the communities he polices and creating a positive relationship with citizens of all ages. He is my HERO.
However, it has been a year of incredible struggle. In January I watched my husband spiral into complete and utter darkness. It was all I could do to hold on and not walk away. The trauma he has faced changed who he was. It stripped everything I fell in love with. It left a man overcome by the demons of PTSD. Piece by piece he became a different person, and we were losing who we were. I struggled to help him, did some work and realized that quite possibly he was suffering from PTSD. It then took me four months for him to realize he was struggling too.
PTSD holds a strong stigma in Policing. If admitted members may be seen as weak and unhealthy to continue the job. It pushes members to contemplate the worst possible outcome, taking their own life.
In June we began our journey of recovery together. Recently we were selected to attend the Can-Praxis program held in Ontario. We were grateful for the amazing opportunity, but of course apprehensive about bearing our lives to complete strangers. Exactly a week ago we met Steve and Jim for the first time and handed over our relationship to them in hopes that we could learn how to communicate with each other in a positive, effective manner. Having our voices heard, being strong enough to say things I have kept inside for many years. Things I never thought I would be able to say.
The program is offered in such a manner that the members and the spouses have a safe environment, surrounded by other members or spouses that can relate to everything you share. The classroom offered us the information that we could take away and use to mend our marriage. The exercises with the horses offered insight into how our spouses feel daily while struggling with this illness. Grooming the horses first thing in the morning gave us a safe and quiet place to talk out what we were learning and what we wanted to get out of the program. The best part of this program is that all the information is given in the exact manner to both the members and the spouses, but in our own respective groups. We walked away with the same information, techniques and a new found understanding of how each other is suffering.
We left the program last Saturday with a new found family, new hope for a better relationship, the tools to see us through more difficult days ahead and the realization that we would come out of this dark tunnel, we learned that we are not BROKEN, we are INJURED.
We embarked on our 3 hour ride home with a zest to communicate and we started in on a deep conversation. One that would change everything for us in just a few hours. Not only did the Can-Praxis program give us essential tools to heal our relationship, the time with other suffering officers gave my husband the courage to "come out" publicly and share his story. Up until this point, only a few people were aware that he had been diagnosed with PTSD and that we were struggling to survive this terrible illness. Not even our families knew what we had been dealing with for nine months.
His unwavering strength and courage is so inspiring. Although this past week has been an emotional roller coaster and he has slid back a little I know that sharing his story will help so many more people. The fear of the stigma and being seen as a weak man has been broken and he is so brave. He has come out into the light and shown that he is stronger then anyone could imagine, it took guts to share his story, yet the overwhelming response to his post has reaffirmed that he made the right decision. I am so proud of his steps... probably prouder then the day I watched him accept his badge in Orillia.
Can-Praxis not only saved our marriage, it saved my husband. The facilitators have an incredible program that I hope will continue to help not only our National heroes, our veterans, but also the men and women that protect our communities everyday. What they are doing is saving members from devastating outcomes. We will forever be changed because of this experience, and we look forward to attending the next phases with our new family.
Thank you for the amazing experience. We will forever be grateful for your leadership and friendship.
Can-Praxis #1609 read less
Kate Madeloso I can't thank the facilitators, Steve and Jim, enough for their passion and dedication to the Can Praxis PTSD program... read moreI can't thank the facilitators, Steve and Jim, enough for their passion and dedication to the Can Praxis PTSD program for couples. It has been a life changer for me and my husband - we now have a road map to help us through the tough times. We are feeling way more positive and are way more willing to work together to find some balance and peace in our relationship. read less
Peter Madeloso I was initially skeptical when my wife suggested we attend the program. Having attended it I believe that I have... read moreI was initially skeptical when my wife suggested we attend the program. Having attended it I believe that I have reconnected with my emotions and have learned mechanisms to help us work through any future conflict in my relationship with my family. read less
Susan Binnie Life is not fair, we believe it should be a certain way, our way… it is not the way it’s... read moreLife is not fair, we believe it should be a certain way, our way… it is not the way it’s supposed to be, it’s the way it is and we cannot control it. The way we cope with life and the hidden mysteries of PTSD, is what will make the difference in our marriages, our lives and the lives of our families. The theories of Can Praxis started the day we walked on the ranch in the horse arena… and will continue in our hearts and minds in our home arena. We have been taught that there is no sense placing blame, it is what it is…time to move forward and enjoy what lies ahead. There is no time to look back and say what if, the past is the past… we cannot change it, accept it and move on. It is not going to be easy and no one says it is. Anything worth having is worth working for! No power plays and no walk a ways... The more you work, the more the reward. It is this powerful positive thinking that we learned to share and make work in our situation. There is light at the end of the tunnel…our job is to not force it to come out, it will when it is ready and we will find where the tunnel takes us when we are truly ready to accept it…not before, not something we can control! The support of the peers in the group was definitely a positive move in the right direction. The facilitators Steve and Jim will forever be imprinted in our hearts and minds as our lives have changed for the positive and we now have a blueprint for the future. I was hoping my husband and I would one day be in the same book… because of Can Praxis, we are in the same book… and also on the same page. I looked deep inside myself and if I stop looking at him like he is Broken…I am sure he will stop feeling like he is! read less
Lindsey and Trevor Can Praxis is an amazing place for couples to reconnect with each other on many levels. My husband and I... read moreCan Praxis is an amazing place for couples to reconnect with each other on many levels. My husband and I had a life changing experience. If anyone suffering from PTSD has the opportunity to attend the Can Praxis... You will not be disappointed. read less
Rob Martin, Lieutenant-Colonel (Retired). "CAN PRAXIS means everything to me. Upon initial contact mid-September 2015 Steve talked me through a very dark, life-threatening situation.... read more"CAN PRAXIS means everything to me. Upon initial contact mid-September 2015 Steve talked me through a very dark, life-threatening situation. My daughter and my attendance at CAN PRAXIS in October brought me hope and discovery, and an 'exquisite understanding of pressure and release' in my relationships. I live the communication and conflict resolution/self-mediation lessons learned every single day, and will continue to refine my understanding of them for the rest of my life. For these thing and more I am grateful and give thanks." read less
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